Say something about gay babies.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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