is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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