Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
