I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
