What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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