Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
