girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
