I puked a lego.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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