i already hear my dad disowning me
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
