barbara walters just said penis...
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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