Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
