Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Randomize
