More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
