first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm at about main and main street
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
