definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
