Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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