dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
