just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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