Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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