And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize