so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize