Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
