I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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