he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
