I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
