Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
