i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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