was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
