I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Alive.
So much puke
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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