it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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