there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
