She went from zero to smokin in five shots
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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