I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
