idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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