I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize