I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize
