yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
