Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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