So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
