Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
