the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
