I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize