last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
