I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
