Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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