i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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