The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
