There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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