She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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