Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Omg I joined a choir last night...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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