So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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