Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize