its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
