No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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