took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize