YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Randomize
