No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
