Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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