belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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