There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
