After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
