i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
