it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
