barbara walters just said penis...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
