My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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