Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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