love makes seman taste better
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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