Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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