But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
