The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
What changed your mind?
Being sober
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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