apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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