Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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