In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
