There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
