I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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